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Argus Filch

My Cat Really, Really Hates You

Mr. Filch
My name is Argus Filch. I like whips and chains. And my kitty, Mrs. Norris.

Mrs. Norris hates you. All of you.
alcohol, bare bottoms, beatings, cats, chains, cleanliness, felines, flaying, frottages, handing out detentions, kitties, manacles, mr. sheen, mrs. norris, my cat, not being a squib, not shaving regularly, pickled acromantula eyes, pitiful screaming, professor snape, sensual flaying, soft weeping, tail coats, taking unnecessary umbrage, teaching children a lesson, whipmarks, whips